Advice For People New To Social Networking

Defining The Term "Social"

Many user profiles seem to suggest that men and women are using social networks for opposing reasons. Several men seem to confuse them for dating sites, which may very well be the outcome of an encounter, while several women seem to be joining them unaware that they will encounter men with varying intentions.

I am amazed that after deciding to read a woman's profile that I am hit with items like:

• No cheaters
• Not looking for a relationship
• No men
• and the list goes on

With all the advances in modern science, you still have to meet and / or get to know someone to find out if they fall into any of these categories. A lot of guys don't seem to understand that some women are using these networks only on a "friendly" basis. One of the most common complaints women have is about the number of men trying to use video chats with them for sexual requests. As always… a time and a place for everything.

No matter how many precautions you take, something or someone will likely fall through the cracks. This would be avoided if profiles are not private. Let's face it, you can't know what you don't know. A man would know that a woman is not interested in any form of romance, and a woman would be able to gauge a man's intentions if they could read each other's profiles in their entirety.

This problem may be too widespread to be corrected anytime soon, but it may be worth considering. After all, a person can only become your friend if you accept their request. Since that is the case, give them the ability to see if such a request is a good idea in the first place.

A Social Journey: One Small Step For Me

As a new user (but long time follower) of the social networking scene, it became clear to me that many users who sign up on social media sites have a tendency to make their profiles private. I assume that there are valid reasons for this, but, I would think that a more effective solution would be to avoid social networks altogether.

If you are an introvert, it may be best to seek some advice from a professional, a trusted friend, a family member, or a pet. You too have a place in the world of social media and are more than welcomed to join this ever expanding global force.

Let's Get To Know Each Other

When attempting to meet new people, whether online or in person, one has to expect that these new folks will want to know some basic information about you, at the very least. I'm not suggesting that your profile page starts off with a list of your favorite foods and ATM pin numbers, but you have to see it from the point of view of the other person.

If you were trying to get to know someone better, you would need more than a profile picture (no matter how nice it may look). Social networking is not much different from a date with a person you just met, except that any sexual encounters online would not only be interesting but possible patent worthy.

A Quick Reality Check

I do understand that some people may have had bad experiences using social media (stalkers, scammers, etc.), but much like the concept of death (or premature ejaculation), there are certain things in life that we cannot control no matter how much we try, or how many creams we use.

Do understand that this is a reality of living in a digital world. It's only going to be more complex, so the earlier you come to grips with it and seek out more efficient ways to manage this process, the better.

A Silly Suggestion

I recommend that newcomers to the social scene find some personal information that cannot be used to steal your identity or drain your bank account beyond reasonable means. For instance, a picture of you is pretty much out of your control as we now live in a global surveillance society. Not to mention the multitude of folks who have embraced the "selfie" movement.

Chances are that there are thousands of pictures of you circling the Internet that you never even knew you should, would, or could have been tagged in (I'm looking at my alleged friends right about now).

Do not post any sensitive details about yourself that you believe could put you in any physical or digital danger. For example, if your email password is the name of your pet dragon, please DO NOT POST its name and picture on your profile. As long as you are comfortable with people asking where you got your pet, feel free to put up photos of "Puff" the dragon at your discretion.

Some "About me" topics least likely to make you a victim of fraud include, but are not limited to: food, happiness and sex… not necessarily in that order. Anyone who couldn't at least guess that you like these things can't be smart enough to steal your identity anyway.

On The Flip Side

Frequent mentions of "Not looking for sex!", "Not here for booty calls!", and my personal favorite, on private profiles, "Read my entire profile before you add me!", cause quite a bit activity in the old brain. After seeing such postings on thousands of profiles, I can't help but wonder if the ladies that join social networking sites are frequently molested or assaulted by aspiring male suitors.

I doubt very much that men or women should expect different responses from the "sought after" gender of their choice simply because the "meetings" are not taking place online. There is still a time and place for all things and one can appreciate another person's beliefs and expectations about the way a “friend request” should be made. This is almost, but not completely, impossible to do if the profile of the person you want to "know better" is private.

Another difficulty that single people will encounter with adding persons with private profiles is that you have no way of knowing that individual's relationship status. For some, this may not matter, however, I (and it may just be me on this one) would very much like to know if the person is in a relationship or married before proceeding. Once again, that is just me. The unfortunate surprise of finding out that a person who "tickles your fancy" is already spoken for can be a bit of a low blow.

Ultimately...

It's a big world that we all play in and we all will make up our own minds on how to play. The friend making process is one that happens all throughout life and like most other things, (social) skills upgrades may be needed. Remember to be as kind and honest to one another as the law permits. So as I make this adventure into this social ocean, I hope to see you all…hiding in plain sight.